Why I brown-filed your response

by Staff Writer

Let’s face it. If you’re a decent-looking woman looking for sex (even if you say you’re part of a couple) you’re going to be swarmed with responses from any ad you post. Case and point: the ad that J and I posted for our Winter Solstice Party has been inundated with responses.

Here are the stats:

48 single males
13 males that would love to “play single” even though they are married
11 couples
4 unicorns

The number of female responses always makes me a little blue. I’d love to see a greater number of confident, single women looking for sexual experiences with couples and groups. I suppose that’s why there’s never a cover charge for the mysterious unicorn. We just count ourselves lucky when we see one.

It should be said that we did not place this ad on a swinger or lifestyle site. That would certainly have changed the proportions of couples who responded. We wanted, rather, for this to be a truer representation of general response. And, I think that’s what we got.

Since we closed our ad, many of those 76 responses have made their way into a “brown file.” J and I sat together reviewing the ads and deleted based on the following criteria:

1. They respondent didn’t read our ad. (Meaning, they are either under 35, smokers, or completely straight wanting no incidental contact with same sex.)
2. We received no actual words at all, just a modest cock pic.
3. If there was not a coherent thought in the email, we assumed that there wasn’t one in their head. (Meaning, if you didn’t read our ad and write a response that explained yourself and “why you are a good fit for the party,” you get cut. We do not want a “Sounds awesome! Count me in!”)
4. It’s a small sexual community that we’re in and there are a few individuals (single males) that function as a “group.” I think they have responded to anything I’ve ever posted. We have seen them at parties, though never played with them, and know that they’re just not as thoughtful as we’d like for this encounter. Perhaps they’d be better suited for that group fuck I’d like to plan…Ok, so maybe I won’t delete them, just tuck them away somewhere.

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8 Responses to “Why I brown-filed your response”

  1. tom paine Says:

    Sounds like the old days of swinging haven’t changed much.
    I think it requires an extraordinary woman to swing alone with a couple. For one thing, she can usually have all the men she wants, and probably has one already, so why risk it with TWO people?
    The second thing is that most people seem to prefer one-on-one sex, even in a group setting.

  2. Lola David Says:

    Yes, we know two single women in the swinger scene…and they are booked completely solid with dates at all times. They even travel quite a bit to play…ah, the life they lead.

    Once every couple of months I pin one down long enough for J and I to bed her…she is a beautiful soul to be in bed with.

  3. tom paine Says:

    Rich folks like you should consider taking in a permanent addition….
    Imagine the show you could give those financial district bean counters with J fucking the two of you….
    Ah, to be 150 again….

  4. Lola David Says:

    That you can even think such thoughts at your age, dear Tom is marvelous…Alas, we are far from rich. Perhaps next year J will put a unicorn in my stocking…

  5. tom paine Says:

    Perhaps next year J will put a unicorn in my stocking…
    You are, my dear, the unicorn, and J knows how lucky he is, so much that he’d do almost anything for you.
    I think bisexual liaisons are best accomplished one-on-one. But what would I know, I’m only an observer.

  6. Between the Sheets » Blog Archive » Girl talk Says:

    […] Girl talk December 19th, 2006 by Lola David All this chatter about unicorns had me thinking of my only true girlfriend. She is a beautiful Hawaiian with creamy brown skin. She has elegant feminine curves to her body, with enough meat on her bones that you can guess she indulges in life (and dessert) the way she SHOULD! Her dark, sleek hair is cropped short as a nymph’s. She has a laugh that would calm even the most nervous partner. And, her spirit is worth celebrating, in and out of bed. […]

  7. Lola David Says:

    Yes, I completely agree…Read Girl Talk (my activities from yesterday)…

  8. tom paine Says:

    I’m jealous already. J. and I should have a beer together and pick up bar flies.

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