Between the Sheets

A new friend told me yesterday that he detected “a great deal of restlessness” on my part. Which makes me think, either it was a lucky guess to see that. Or, I wear my stirrings on my sleeve. They are not as veiled as I might hope.

I make no secret that I have had many lovers in my life, nor that my sexual awakening came at a time that I had promised to be monogamous to a man I loved. It was a great betrayal, with great consequence. But, I was not restrained. Judge as you wish that statement, but it is true.

I roped myself too quickly to the social ties that would bind, seeing them as a checklist for status in the adult world. College, check. Relationship, check. Child, check. Unhappiness, check. Undiscovered soul and sexuality, double check.

Long ago, I found myself with another restless lover. He and I are kindred spirits in many ways. I still love him with all that I am. He was a part of my great awakening. He was also a source of strength when I had no one else around me. Some of these things, he would most likely shake his head at. For, more than exhibiting these things, he just embodied them plainly to me. Still, I have never been so naive as to wish a life with him. It causes me great pain to see that written, and I most often dismiss the thought immediately when it occurs to me. But, our soul’s songs would fly about too much for any peace, I fear. Read the rest of this entry »

He walked to the couch and sat down, unzipping his pants. I knelt before him and took his flaccid penis into my mouth. I used my hands, tongue, and a good amount of spit to get him erect.

I was nestled in the pillow of my own bedroom as I had these thoughts of my hotel hook up. It was still early in the morning. I had crawled back into bed for a moment to warm up, to relax before my bath. I pulled the blankets up and closed my eyes, imagining his darkened hotel room.

The shades were completely drawn, letting in only cracks of light. One orange lamp on the table at the far side of the room gave light to what we were doing. Gradually, he became engrossed in what I was doing, hips pushing into my mouth and hands forcing my head down farther, trying to gauge how far he could push himself into me before I gagged. Each push of his hands on my head was a little harder. Read the rest of this entry »

J grabbed my hand this evening. My hands are small and fair skinned, with short, manicured nails. J’s hands are at least twice the size of mine. We laugh that I can make a fist and his fist fits over mine, completely covering my hand. He brought my hand gently to his face as he knelt at the couch. It was his way of making me stop what I was doing for a moment, a brush of intimacy.

He could tell even though I’ve washed dishes and taken a bath since then that I touched myself today. Many times, actually. I detest and am turned on by that uncanny ability he has to detect my scent in a room or on me in some way. I became immediately self-conscious and coy about it. That little dance we do despite all of these years of catching me in this situation. He asked my fantasy—what I thought about as I played.

Was I thinking of an old lover? Was I thinking of an encounter we’ve had together? Was I thinking of a party we’ve been to? Was I fantasizing about him? Read the rest of this entry »

David lies back to enjoy the hands upon his body, unaware of who is doing what to him. I whisper to J to take him into his mouth. His mouth slides over David’s cock quickly. There was no sensual pause as I might have done. It seemed like willingness to explore and not think at least for now. J’s hand slides to the base of David, cupping him as he sucks. J pauses, mouth agape for a moment as I slide off the couch beneath him. I take him into my mouth as swiftly as he had David.

David’s hand finds its way to the back of J’s head to guide him. J’s rhythm paused for a moment. He tells me later that it was that touch of intimacy that shocked him more than the intense feel of my mouth on him below.

J tastes drops of David briefly and I of him. J grabs me by the hair and pulls me to a position suggesting I straddle David. Without hesitation I sink onto David and develop a rhythm that’s guided by J’s hands. I feel J’s hands about my hips briefly and he moves upward to my breasts. He’s still wet from my mouth on him and slides into my ass easily. It takes a moment to develop a rhythm with the three of us that doesn’t have me jerking about. David’s thrusting becomes more internal within me and J pushes into me from behind. Read the rest of this entry »

My head fell back against the couch and I reveled in their fingers, lips, and tongues finding the most intimate places on my body. I wove my fingers thru David’s hair, and gently guided him. Two or three more tugs at my nipple with his teeth and my breath became heavier and more erratic. I was so close. I let him push me quickly into my first orgasm. J drank from the pleasure that had well up in me below, nuzzling my clit a few times afterward just to hear me moan.

J reached up to caress my breasts and brush some of my juices onto my nipples, cooling them. And, then his fingers found their way into my mouth, letting me suck them gently for a moment. David watched us. I knew from looking in J’s eyes that he’d like to watch me suck David. I unfastened David’s pants, untucked his shirt and left him bare. I began kissing David, down his collarbone, to his nipples. My teeth gently bit at his ribs. He gasped, and I let my lips trail the bites with full, wet kisses. My hand was already on his cock, as my lips continued down his abdomen. I let my tongue play in the vertex of his thighs and groin, nibbling at the fleshy part of his thighs as I stroked him. J continued to watch. David glances at him briefly, but was still apprehensive to make eye contact with him, especially as I was about to take his erection into my mouth. Read the rest of this entry »

Today on commentary for Sex on the Tube, Tom Paine and I spoke of bi-sexual experiences and what is often the dynamic in female encounters with men “egging on” the women and guiding the interaction.

“There is a wide range of “egging on” scenarios. One is the BF or husband standing over the women issuing commands or rubbing their backs, etc. The other is encouraging the woman to explore her bisexual interests. “

It is the least desireable way to experience such a beautiful thing in my opinion. I’d rather my celebration be uninterrupted and pure, sensual in its tempo and exploration. It made me think of the first bi-sexual experience that J had. The experience was designed to be focused on me, and should the atmosphere be right for it (all planets aligned, etc) he would perhaps fall into intimacy of some sort with the other male.

************

I poured the wine almost immediately after David came in the door. Anxious hellos were exchanged. There was a sophomoric insecurity in the room between the three of us. The atmosphere reeked of a virginal experience, nerves and all.

After all, as lustily as we all spoke at the munch, it was a first experience for each of us. Conversation began a bit awkwardly and platonically. We talked about the munch, and the strange looking, awkward folk there. We’re too close to Santa Cruz, David said. Brings out the tree-huggers. I sat in the corner of the couch with one leg tucked under me, and my other foot tucked underneath David’s thigh. He was next to me and J was at my feet. My attention was focused on David, the curves of his physique, the way his lips parted when he spoke, or cast a smirk at me. Read the rest of this entry »

There is a new trend among TV documentaries on alternatives to monogamous heterosexual relationships. ABC’s Primetime led a discussion among a group of swingers. WE’s Secret Lives of Women documented both the lives of swingers and then a documentary on the BDSM lifestyle. Tonight, VH1 presented a documentary (”Women seeking women: A bi-curious journey”) that followed the lives of 4 bi-curious women and their husbands on a weekend getaway designed to help them unlock their fantasies.

I am of two minds on this kind of program. I think it is an incredible opportunity to show those who speak of “family values” and the “moral fabric” of our society that these lifestyle decisions are made by people that are incredibly normal, grounded, intelligent, productive members of society. However, that opportunity is not often harnessed in that way. Rather, in some cases, the programs take the conservative slant from the beginning, going for shock value and pure exploitative, entertainment purposes. They ask probative questions, framed in such a way that the viewer forms an opinion before they even hear the answer. Or, as on the Dr. Keith Ablow show, two months ago about “A New Monogamy” they interviewed one couple that wasn’t so new to the lifestyle that it wasn’t an informative opinion. They offered forth very naive, often irresponsible answers that only fueled the audience’s apprehensions and questions.

I was so upset with the Primetime special on swingers that I wrote this email: Read the rest of this entry »

This week’s best of the sex blogs from the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #58? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
The Other Side of Hotwifery (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Since he had been so cavalier about it prior to my ever actually going through with such an event, I had given almost no thought to how it might affect him.”

The Blender (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)

“You want to pick me? Did I win a contest?”

Meeting in a Car - part one (http://emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
“His tongue teased hers, and her lips teased his in retaliation”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Welcome to Googlestan! Google Purges Adult Content from Search Results (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice
Desire so overwhelming I could do anything (http://sugarbutch.blogspot.com)

Read the rest of this entry »

“Should I be kind to you? You’d like that wouldn’t you? For me to kiss those wounds, tell you you’ll be alright.” You spun me around to face you, and pushed me back against the armoire. I felt my wounds ache against the beveled doors. “Well, I’m not sure you will be. I don’t intend to make this easy for you. And I would be terribly disappointed if you made it easy for me.” As you spoke, your lips brushed mine, and then you stole another kiss. This time, I felt you put your entire weight into me, pushing the air from my body.

Your hands reached up to release my binds and you led me to the chair near the window. You brought my hands around your waist and refastened the binds behind your back. I could feel your cock press up against my belly as we stood together. “Get on your knees.” You grabbed my shoulder and forced me to kneel, as I tried to maintain my balance. You sat down in the chair. My hands were pinned behind you and I was pulled toward your lap. I turned my head to avoid your cock, and you enjoyed the brush of my hair against your shaft. Read the rest of this entry »

You let go of me briefly as you turned to bolt and latch the door, complicating any escape I might try to make. You hadn’t underestimated me this evening as you did the first time we played this way. You were entertained by my performance in the bar again, but not put at ease. We’d play just as hard as we planned.

The darkness hid the layout of your room. I stumbled in the hallway, realizing it was different from mine. I turned to you, since I knew of only one way out. As you pivoted, I struck you and brought my knee up against your crotch. You were stunned, but my knee struck your inner thigh. You still had the strength to grab my hair as I struggled with the door and you pulled me to the floor. I let out a shriek. I fell backward, and sat firmly on the floor as you stood over me.

“You’ll pay for that,” you laughed.

“I doubt it,” I managed.

“Now get up.” The calm depth in your voice was intimidating. You wound your hand through my hair again and pulled me to my feet. You reached for a dim light and in an instant I saw that this wasn’t something that was an impulse for you. You had planned it precisely. The light danced over the metal clasps fastened to the bed, the toys meticulously assembled at a nearby table, and the delicate metal ends of a whip that made my skin crawl just to look at it.

“Will you undress for me, or shall I do it for you?”

I said nothing.

“Fine, have it your way,” you said coldly. To the top of the armoire, you had affixed a pair of restraints that you led me to. You pushed me against the heavy doors, and forced my arms over my head. I struggled, but the weight of your body against me, coupled with the awkward angle of my arms left me helpless. My pathetic attempts made you chuckle again. I struggled to see you, but my back remained turned to you. You pulled my blouse over my head. It remained around my arms and the front of my neck. I heard a loud click that could only be a knife. I felt the steel run the length of my spine, beginning at the small of my back. You cut the strap of my bra, and then the shoulder straps, letting it fall from my body. I shuddered as I felt you bring the knife to the front of my body, tracing the bottom of my breasts. “See how easy this will be for me? I really thought you’d be more of a challenge, my sweet.” And, you flicked my nipples with the knife, laughing as I jerked back against you. Read the rest of this entry »

BDSM play is a huge part of my sexual existence. J and I have perfected our play in sensual and responsible ways over the years. In wanting to discuss some of those things in the coming weeks, I went scouring through old fantasies I’d written before I was a well educated little SAM. I’ll preface this by saying it was written and enacted YEARS ago…god, I feel old all of a sudden. It is very raw, and spoke of the heights I thought I was capable of. True life has played out even more brilliantly than this could possibly articulate–but, it’s a good jumping off place…

This was the second night that you had seen me in the hotel bar. Tonight I wore a black silk skirt that flirted about my knee and a virgin white top that plunged toward my breasts and gathered along the centerline of my abdomen. I sat alone and toyed with my drink about the bar, enjoying my solitude, as far as you could tell. But, I was searching for something; almost waiting for it to come to me, you thought.

So, you approached.

Your boyish looks made me smirk. You were hardly what I needed tonight. I dismissed your hello and casual conversation politely with, “I’d rather be alone.” Still you persisted, which was entertaining if not laughable. I humored you by keeping up my end of the conversation, answering with “I’m fine,” now and again to keep you at bay. You turned toward me at the bar, confident that I was enjoying your wit and opening myself up to you. You placed your foot on my stool, so that your knee pressed at my thigh. I shifted in my seat so that I momentarily pushed against you and then moved farther away. I finished and paid for my drink. “Well, I’ve enjoyed your company. Have a nice evening.” I barely made eye contact with you, which grated your ego and your anger rose.

“Wait a minute! We were in the middle of a conversation!”

“No, YOU were. I’ve hardly said a word to you. Good night.” I replied, coldly. I watched you bristle at my response.

And, still, I turned to leave. I searched for my room key in my purse as I walked to the elevator, unaware that you were close behind. Read the rest of this entry »

My conversations with J this week, no doubt have been a product of my Breaking the Golden Rule. Our dialogues have turned to the other men in my life and what role they play. In asking that question, J’s wondering led to the firmness of his role in my life and what is sometimes insecurity about who he is to me.

I think we can both accept responsibility for perpetuating that emotion. I, for one, could be much more diligent about giving J the time we need to rekindle the intimacy of passion we had years ago. Make no mistake. We’re still out exploring our sexuality together, but even that has changed. A friend asked me recently why it is that J and I don’t go to the eucalyptus grove anymore, spread a blanket in the grasses, and fuck unseen by passing by cars.

We’re in the midst of another evolution of our relationship… Read the rest of this entry »

- You know that feeling when you step out of the bath and the air hits your skin for the first time? Breath (warm and cool) on a moist erection has the same chilling effect. It is a nice go between as you alternate your position to focus on two lesser emphasized arousal points below.

- Often an overlooked factor in fellatio, are a man’s testicles. Guys, your part is to keep things looking well-groomed and inviting. There is a certain hesitation to be exploring down there because of the incredible sensitivity. Continue stroking him with your hand. Let your tongue trace over the testes and take them one at a time into your mouth (gently). Massage them gently with your tongue. An alternative to this would be to continue focusing on his erection and let your hands and fingertips find their way to his balls instead. I mentioned before the touch of fingers on such sensitive skin can be very arousing. Read the rest of this entry »

Tip #3: Working with what you’ve got

- With as much grace as your fingertips can have in the most sensitive places on your lover’s body, so too can your tongue. Trace delicately the head of his penis, encircling it. Let your tongue explore with mild pressure the underneath side of the shaft. One of my favorite techniques is a side to side motion with my tongue beginning on the upstroke (halfway up the shaft). As he withdraws from my mouth, the tip of my tongue presses against a very sensitive area (the frenulum) and adds extra stimulation.

- There is no better lubricant than spit, so use it. Most fellatio recipients like lots of spit, but others prefer a drier job, so check in with your partner.

- Teeth can, from time to time, play an extra role in the act. But, they should never the lead. Typically, your lips should cover your teeth to keep them from interfering in the strokes. However, kissing and nibbling at the shaft (gently, gently, gently) is also a huge turn-on for some. Read the rest of this entry »

When I first read “Global Orgasm Day” the phrase seemed trite. The first thing that came to mind was that its inception was assuredly orchestrated by a consortium of individuals in the “industry.” I thought it an underground, corporate holiday like “National Cuddle Day” or “National Romance on a Budget Day.” (Who dreams these up?)

I’m pleased to say it’s not that it at all. There is actual science behind it, say the minds at Princeton University.

“The Global Consciousness Project, Princeton University, runs a network of Random Event Generators (REGs) around the world, which record changes in randomness during global events. The results show that human consciousness can be measured to have a global effect on matter and energy during widely-watched events such as 9/11 and the Indian Ocean tsunami. There have also been measurable results during mass meditations and prayers. Read the rest of this entry »