Unwrapped gifts can be returned

by Staff Writer

When I was single (ages ago) it wasn’t uncommon for a guy to attempt to get out of wearing a condom with a lame excuse like “I didn’t remember to bring any condoms.” And, though I may responsibly and stealthy pull one out of my drawer or purse, he would still try to persuade me to forego it. It was a short conversation—that usually ended with his acquiescence or an escort to the door.

And now we are seeing more and more of a different problem:

We are hearing of more and more incidents that end with things like, “Oops, the condom slipped off.” Worse yet, the offender who is not doing a proper job of keeping his condom on then blames the woman, saying “Oh, you’re so tight you pulled it right off.”

Keeping the condom on is not only the man’s job; it should be viewed as a sacred responsibility. If you are not sufficiently motivated to respect your playmates by making sure that you use a condom properly when you are with her, and making damn sure it stays in place until you fully withdraw from her delightful confines, then you should pack up your “thing” and get out…

Condom usage is not rocket science, but some care is needed to maintain maximum protection. At a minimum, implement the following for your health and your partner’s:

1. Periodically grab the condom at the peak of the outstroke and tug it up the penis on the instroke. This keeps the condom pulled up and prevents any incipient slippage.

2. If you come or begin to lose your erection, stop moving until you can grab the base of the condom and hold onto the condom until you completely remove it from your partner.

3. If you are using latex condoms and you have sex for more than a half-hour at a stretch, you should probably stop and change condoms. The heat and friction makes them tend to stretch over time.

4. Think twice before you purchase an XL condom. Don’t let ego guide that purchase. If the condom is “comfortable,” it’s probably too big. Think glove, not your favorite pair of jeans.

AVERT is a great resource for any questions you may have about condom usage.

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2 Responses to “Unwrapped gifts can be returned”

  1. tom paine Says:

    C. likes a condom for several reasons: it’s tight fit “pulls” at the vaginal walls and creates friction. It also feels “naughty” because it’s like having sex with a stranger.

    Which is, of course, my intention. Hehehehehe.

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