Our “Swing away” Mistakes

by Staff Writer

We played in the same room that night, separated into two pairs of strangers in our living room. J toyed with, mildly dominated and brought her to orgasm many times. Her cries of pleasure were a distraction from what I was enduring. I was left with a bumbling, over-aggressive Dom who was compensating for lack of repertoire with intensity. And, while my threshold for most things is high, I did reach a breaking point…

Play ended with no means of recovering shortly after that. J tended to me lovingly and politely escorted Captain H and his sub out.

I in no way mean to advocate that separate play in the same room doesn’t work. It works for us now. But, we had thrown something else into the mix that was, as we’ve come to find out in our play, very private. As I said at the very beginning, we discovered that for us BDSM and full swaps just don’t mix.

Even though discussions may have been extensive in that regard as far as limits, boundaries, safe words put into place there’s no accounting for technique and ability of a Dom. There is a great deal of difference between someone who enjoys watching someone else in pain, and someone who truly can dance someone to the delicate periphery of their limits, bringing them safely back from the edge in a moment if need be. J knows my limits and me very well. To put someone who (as it turns out) was relatively inexperienced in the emotional and psychological components of that play was very naïve of us. If we still chose to share things like that with other now, we would ask more philosophical questions of the Dom rather than years of experience and how well they can use a flogger.

We have since decided that any sort of role-playing form of BDSM shall remain between us. The only topping of me occurs by J unless we are in a carefully orchestrated threesome setting. We have had marvelous experiences in that regard.

Our salvation: Remarkably, we didn’t swear off of the swinging experience entirely after that. We took a break for a bit, to reflect on what had happened in totality. We were able to have an open dialogue about it afterward—no judgments, no accusations. It simply happened. We are both adults and could have stopped it immediately at any point.

Our redemption: Almost every Saturday evening at a fabulous club in the City, with much more wisdom in tow.

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3 Responses to “Our “Swing away” Mistakes”

  1. tom paine Says:

    I find it remarkable that you didn’t run away from the experience. Sex is an incredibly, INCREDIBLY delicate balance of emotion, arousal, atmosphere and imagination. To put yourselves at risk and be able to go back and play again is a very hopeful sign.

    I can’t speak for others, but I would prefer more elaboration of some points, such as “The only topping of me occurs by J unless we are in a carefully orchestrated in a threesome setting. We have had marvelous experiences in that regard.” Those two sentences prick my curiosity, and distract me from your message. What kind of threesome? While I have done some gentle flogging and mild restraint, my experiences with BDSM are limited pretty much to a visit to the old Hellfire Club in the meat-packing district of NYC and watching some demonstrations at last year’s Erotic Exotic Ball. Mostly it seems like theater, and as such as unsexy as strippers, porn and other faked sexuality, but I’m sure I am naive and ignorant of its complexities.

  2. John Says:

    The tease of your redemption, my dear Lola, has accomplished perhaps what you intended, to drive me crazy with curiosity. Allow a man a vicarious life, would you, rather than torture him with innuendo.

  3. Lola David Says:

    You and Tom need a little patience, John…it’s coming today. I did think though that in this case you needed a little “backstory” to understand where our play has taken us in our most recent experiences…

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About Between the Sheets

Cock. Hard. Pussy. Wet. Tongue. Throb. Sweat. Impale. Well, you made it so far; you might as well make yourself cozy. Isn't it amazing how all of those words have completely mundane definitions until you link them all together?

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