A Picture is Worth a Thousand Deletes

by Staff Writer

UPDATE: The inspirational photo is now at the end of this post!!

I am one of the guilty little vixens on some sites like Craigslist posting ads and sometimes looking to connect with someone/groups. Tonight I posted an ad (the revenue from my first 451 Press check to the crafty reader who can find it). As I’ve said before it truly does not matter how well-worded or articulate your ad, you will still get cock pics, cock descriptions and other inappropriate responses.

But, I digress.

Now, by no means do you need to have the artistic prowess of Steve Diet Goedde, but when taking photos of yourself that you plan on emailing out to individuals that you have never seen before, do think of the following:

1. Do not sprawl on anything. Sprawling is rarely effective, especially when you haven’t seen the inside of a gym in over a year and your abdomen hasn’t seen sunlight in that same amount of time. The photo that I’m talking about included the individual slumped Al Bundy-style on the couch.

2. Be careful to select a decent background. The photo burned into my brain this evening is of the Al Bundy character sitting on his grandmother’s floral sofa. She may roll over in her grave at the thought.

3. Do not have any embarrassingly intimate personal items near the frame of your photo. I shall never forget the two LARGE stuffed animals sitting behind Al Bundy on his grandmother’s floral sofa.

4. Do not leave whatever articles of clothing you were wearing prior to said photo shoot in the photo frame. Toss your chinos on the floor instead of draping them on grandmother’s floral sofa before you take the picture.

5. And, finally, tighty-whiteys are only acceptable on a hot young schoolgirl all dressed up for an Exotic Erotic Ball. Do not wear them when you take off your chinos to sit on your grandmother’s floral sofa, teddy bears in tow, for a photo that you think might get you laid.

I need a drink…

EDIT: I have had the actual picture up and down from the site now five times. J thinks I should leave it up. I have mixed emotions about it. Poor guy, it really is a little sad.

, , , ,

14 Responses to “A Picture is Worth a Thousand Deletes”

  1. tom paine Says:

    Is that the “submissive male for shopping” ad?
    You don’t let any grass grow between your toes, now do you?

  2. Lola David Says:

    Way off, dear Tom…on both counts.

  3. tom paine Says:


  4. Lola David Says:

    So, Japanese, German, enough French to play the Vicomte….fabulously diverse. ;)

  5. Al Sensu Says:

    Oh, puleeze let us see the pic.

    I agree, so many guys are naively self-unaware (or should that be underwear?). You know, we all think we’re God’s gift to womankind.

  6. Lola David Says:

    Ok, ok…THERE IT IS! Did my list do it justice or did you have something different pictured in your head?

    Perhaps we should all just be thankful that we didn’t get a FULL frontal view of the inevitable sock-suspenders in all of their glory…

  7. Al Sensu Says:

    OMG, I thought you were making it up, but reality trumps imagination sometimes.

  8. Jay Says:

    Chinos - $25
    Stuffed animal from a carnival - $55 (I suck at ski ball)
    Grandma’s couch - $10 at an estate sale
    Package of jockey underwear bought in 1972 -$5
    Picture of all of these things together - PRICELESS

  9. tom paine Says:

    I think holding that photo up to ridicule is a lot like dropping by a stranger’s blog and leaving a snarky comment. But I admire a spunky woman who tells the world what she thinks, and maybe the sender needs to know how ridiculous he looks.

  10. Lola David Says:

    No, no…only snarky if I revealed the poor bastard’s face or didn’t crop other details in the photo (as I did). Snarky if one doesn’t leave their true name on a blog that they dislike–or a valid email address.

    Don’t compare apples and oranges, dear Tom.

  11. tom paine Says:

    I like both apples and oranges, and C. tells me all the time I can’t stay on topic.
    But it’s true that our own shit never stinks and that of another is smelly.

  12. Lola David Says:

    There’s something more than a little wrong about fruit and shit in the same comment…I have but a few standards, dear Tom. No fruit or fish on my pizza…and no poo or blood in my sex life…

    Someone take the computer away from me so that I don’t make anymore ridiculous comments about fruit while drinking manhattans…

  13. tom paine Says:

    Another night of drunken debauchery? Celebrating or commiserating?

  14. Lola David Says:

    Celebrating, celebrating, celebrating…It is a blissful start to the new year in all its rebirth and newness. The articles in the new year should reflect that–in case you feel a bit in the dark, dear Tom.

    Of course, I’m biased…but I did love Jay’s AmEx commercial like summation of this post. Well done, Jay. I’ll praise you for such wit this evening, darling.

Leave a Reply

About Between the Sheets

Cock. Hard. Pussy. Wet. Tongue. Throb. Sweat. Impale. Well, you made it so far; you might as well make yourself cozy. Isn't it amazing how all of those words have completely mundane definitions until you link them all together?

Welcome to Between the Sheets, where no aspect of sex is taboo and nothing is sacred. So come in and stretch out. Leave a comment. Browse around. You'll leave either appalled or enthralled, but you'll definitely remember your first time. (And it only gets better AFTER the first time.)

Between the Sheets Author(s)
    » Aurora

Blogging Flair

All Porn Blogdirectory

Love some kink as much as I do? Check out my fave sites below and show them a little love! xoxox, Rori

Dating & Relationships Channel Posts

  • I'm Over It..
    Ok, well that little spell of flaming rudeness is over.  I've recovered and all is well on the home front.  That's the most important part anyway, I do declare.  That doesn't mean [...]
  • Baby Talk
    Scene: Aged care facility serviced by the company my husband works for. CareManager: So when are you finally going to become a daddy? Mr. JM: [just sputters a bit] ~ Scene: Mr. JM is home [...]
  • Go vote - I know it is different, but it is very much the same
    I know that I have changed the blog format some and as of late I've spent a lot of time raging about my own's public school experience.  But, I am trying to get back to the basics here which is [...]
  • Back in Action
    Scene: At our favourite local coffee shop. Mr. JM and I are sitting across from each other, he reading the newspaper and I thinking about various things as I stir my chai. In our hurry to get there [...]
  • Back in Action
    Scene: At our favourite local coffee shop. Mr. JM and I are sitting across from each other, he reading the newspaper and I thinking about various things as I stir my chai. In our hurry to get there [...]
  • My first post here where I go off on the husband...
    Ok, I want him to take some mental responsibility here.  I want him to take some of the grief out of my brain and carry it around in his brain for a little while.  Over 3 months ago I [...]
  • Friday Free-For-All - Locations
    Happy Friday! I hope you all had a wonderful week and are ready to have some fun weekend Q&A time here on Long Relationships. Inspired by the Weekend Soiree over at Wifely Steps (and pretty much [...]
  • How does it work?
    If you remember, my husband had dental work done last Thursday.  That means that last Thursday at this time was the beginning of a weekend long of taking care of my husband.  He really [...]
  • The Lost Art of Letter Writing
    Today we have a special guest post from my friend Jenera. She'll be writing for Long Relationships this week. Every so often you'll see a blog post, an article, or something on TV about how no one [...]
  • Sex After Pregnancy
    Today we have a special guest post from my friend Jenera. She'll be writing for Long Relationships this week. We've all heard the stories about how your sex life changes during and after [...]

Hot Off The Press