Faking It

by Aurora

I used to see this guy who was really bad at sex. He obviously enjoyed it a lot and even was “experienced” enough that he should have been decent, and yet there he was, he ass in the air, thrusting away like the Little Engine that Could and falling over himself to pull out before cumming, even though he was wearing a condom. Extra precaution, he’d say. He looked like he was having an epileptic seizure every time we fucked.

Sex with my mystery fellow lasted…oh…three minutes at best. He had a nice, big dick, though - nothing that smelled funky or was laughably small or thin. That’s the sad part of my tale. If he knew how to work it, sex with him would be really could. He certainly was long and thick enough. He even shaved his balls for me. Talk about romance.

But then he’s get himself worked up and start a-thrusting away, crushing me as he leaned too much of his weight on my chest and making me turn my head as he’d literally start panting in my face, the sweat dripping in his eyes and rolling down his back. Ten second later, he was done, hogging his tiny bed and snoring louder than my grandpa. That’s pretty damn loud.

seal.jpgAnd I’d fake the orgasm. He didn’t know any better. I’d just fake about 80% of the time and tell the truth the other 20% of the time. I’m usually a big fan of telling the truth all of the time, but he just seemed so dejected every time I didn’t orgasm for him. He knew he was bad at sex. When I lied and faked the orgasm, it just seemed to make his day, so I continued to do it throughout our brief relationship.

Sometimes, when I’m snuggled up next to my current squeeze, legs wobbly and heart still racing from an awesome orgasm, I think about this guy from my past, imagine him on top of me looking like a spasming seal, and laugh. I wonder where he is now…

Don’t forget to mark your calenders for Global Orgasm Day in December!

Edit from Aurora: I’ve moved! Cum visit me at Between My Sheets!

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6 Responses to “Faking It”

  1. sota Says:

    i am not bold enough to assume i rang the bell everytime i stepped in the ring, but i would like to think that most of the time my partner reached the finish line.

    i think that (just bassed on what you wrote) that you must accept some responsibility in his inability to achieve lift off, i am not saying its your fault but come on give the guy some direction if what he is doing isnt working direct him some where that will….

    any decent guy will take direction, hell i love it tell me than you want me to go down on you or tease your clit or faster or slower …….. and for the love of god if he cant take some direction fine somebody that will …. life is too short for bad sex

  2. Aurora Says:


    Perhaps I should have gone into detail as to all the direction I gave him. And he wasn’t bad at oral sex.

    I agree with you that most guys (and gals) can be taught what their partner likes. I’ve had enough partners to know. He wasn’t just bad at sex on his own, though. He had no idea how to follow directions. I could yell “faster” or “harder” or “slow down” or whatever, and he would just keep thrusting away like he was in his own world. We did talk about it too - what I would like more what I didn’t like, etc.

    But at the end of the day, he was just bad at sex. I take absolutely no responsibility in this case!

  3. Jocasta Says:

    Oh sota,
    Shame on you for needing to blame it on the girl! Some guys are that lazy at sex or that self-absorbed.

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