Between the Sheets

Most of you will know what I’m talking about here. Bed buddies are the new (or not so new depending on where you’re coming from) non-relationship. In a world where careers are the focus and time is minimal, many young singles today just don’t have the time a “real” relationship requires or are not willing to put time into a relationship. But we still have sexual needs. In a society where sexual freedom has become the norm for many (and I know that there are many who do not choose that norm in their lives) bed buddies are one of the options.

A bed buddy can be your best friend or just a friend that you feel comfortable with. The pluses are sexual fulfillment in a non-committed but assumedly safe manner. Usually, a bed buddy is someone that you feel comfortable with but doesn’t quite fit your long term requirements. I know some people who have continued in this kind of relationship for years. Sometimes it only lasts for a couple months. People adapt it to best fit their needs. The assumption is that because both parties are being honest with each other, no one gets hurt.

But there are times when a bed buddy becomes more than that to one of the parties. Then what? Do you try to turn the relationship into something more? Do you cut your losses? Or do you continue and hope the feelings go away?

In the past I’ve had a few bed buddy relationships. I thought I could handle it. And for a time I did. But after a couple months I always started wanting more. I may not have wanted more from that specific person, but I eventually realized that that just wasn’t the type of relationship I wanted. I gave up bed buddies for good.

I’d like to know what you all feel about this. Have you been in this type of relationship? Has it worked? Did anyone get hurt? How did it end? Or is it still ongoing?

Ok - everybody masturbates, whether they do it with great joy and as often as they can or whether it is with guilt and trepidation and only when they can no longer fight the urge. I feel bad for people whose masturbation is full of guilt but for many it is still that way. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about - I’ll save that for another time.

What I want to know is what do you think about when you masturbate? I always thought that everyone fantasized while they were masturbating but apparently that is not so. I especially hear a lot of men that say they just concentrate on getting off. Even for some women it is purely a means of “scratching an itch”. Not for me.

When I masturbate, I like to have the time to fully get into it. I like to know that I am alone and won’t be interrupted (although sometimes after writing an especially hot scene in a story I have to sneak into the bathroom with my magic bullet while the kids are busy elsewhere in the house and I have to concentrate on finding some quick release!) and completely get into a fantasy. Which is where a lot of my story ideas come from. I like to play with different settings - the park, a back alley, a hot tub, a restaurant kitchen, a bar… but almost always, the activities are very similar.

I usually get started with me and my boyfriend in a very public place where there are usually several men around for spectators. Sometimes women too, but in my fantasies it is usually men that get me off. If there are women there, they usually have a strap on. My boyfriend usually gets me to start playing with myself. Or he’ll tell me to randomly approach someone and ask them to suck my tits. In my fantasies he wants me to show everyone what a naughty little slut I am. Of course, it progresses into a hot little gang bang scene with me as the center of attention. It almost always ends in anal penetration or if I’m in the mood for it, a double penetration.

Reality? It’s not going to happen. I don’t think I could handle it. But fantasy-wise it really turns me on.

So what is fodder for your fantasies? At what point in your fantasy are you going to come in real life (for me it is always the point of anal penetration). Are the people in your fantasies people you know or complete strangers or celebrities?

Toys don’t always have to have batteries you know. There are so many things that you can use to accessorize your love life and many of them can be carried home in a bag that isn’t black!

Try going to a vintage or used clothing store. You can find a plethora of items that are great for dressing up and role playing. Look for a nurse’s uniform and then take it home and adapt it. Give it peek a book holes. Turn the pants in to short shorts. Tie the top up under your breasts. Find some skanky sequined tank tops and be the trailer park girl of his fantasies. Get the highest heels you can find and some teeny tiny shorts or a micro mini skirt, add some overdone makeup and you can be a sleazy hooker that’s ready to do anything for the right price.

Used clothing and vintage stores can come up with some other surprising things. Look for wigs, feather boas, or masks as well. Your imagination will be soaring in no time!

Once you’ve found some fun stuff, get out the camera and have a photo session. Take the hooker to the back alley with your digital camera and see what kind of poses you can come up with. No one has to see them but you - unless of course you’re willing to share!

Have fun and play safe!

Even the most experienced masturbators like to change things up with a some masturbation tools. Girls are more known to use toys than guys I think but that doesn’t mean you guys should rule it out!

Here’s a couple toys I found that you might enjoy:

For the Guys:

This is one of the most basic masturbating toys for guys. With a realistic mouth, they can stroke themselves into an orgasm. Use a little bit of lube and it will add to your pleasure. I have a guy friend who says he loves this thing. When he wants to get into a fantasy he uses this. Because he’s not using his hand it helps get into the fantasy.

For the Girls:

The ultimate in portable masturbation! The panty pal attaches to any lingerie and has a cordless remote control and makes is virtually silent. Ever had an orgasm in public before? If you haven’t, May is the month to do it. Or try this with your partner. Giving up control can be great fun!

What’s your favorite toy?

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #78? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Coming into my own: How I learned to masturbate (rubytellsall.com…)
“Eventually I could no longer help myself, and I stealthily slipped my hand under my panties.�?

A Hard Day’s Play - part 3 (curvaceousdee.blogspot.com…)
“Together, they create a new sensation, and I savour being able to literally taste their coupling.�?

Sexist Sexy Hotel Kits (blog.babeland.com…)
“Kind of sexist? How about completely, amazingly, disgustingly sexist.�?

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Dancers for Democracy (sugarbank.com…)

Editor’s Choice
On my 31st birthday, I gave my boyfriend two blowjobs… (lustylady.blogspot.com…)

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday (Fleshbot.com)

May is masturbation month and I have to confess that I just remembered and am behind. I need to catch up!

One of the easiest and fastests ways for me to get off is in the shower. I used to have one of the wonderful shower heads that had multiple settings and the last one had three jet streams. That was awesome and was good for a real quickie! Now I don’t have it but a girl can make do if she has to.

I haven’t masturbated much in a long time because I have a partner who’s willing and ready to fulfill my needs at any given moment but I think I need to get back in touch with myself (so to speak!). My goals for Masturbation Month? To masturbate with my partner and to discover at least one new toy that I really like.

And here’s another thought - is it just my imagination or are guys masturbating less and girls masturbating more? It used to be that guys were the ones constantly jerking off in the stalls of their work office and girls were discreetly hiding it lest anyone find out. But I hear more and more guys proclaim, “I don’t masturbate!” as if it was a sign of weakness! It’s really not. Whether or not you have a partner, masturbation is a sign of healthy sexuality. Guys and girls should be jerking and jilling off to get to know themselves better and just because - well, it’s fun!

So, celebrate Masturbation Month. Find a cool toy or get in the shower and get wet or let your fingers do the walking. Have fun with it and NEVER be ashamed!

Reasons to Masturbate (as if we need them!)
From Betty Dodson:

Because masturbation is immensely pleasurable, invigorating, rejuvenating and fun.

Because masturbation proclaims that sex is good in, by, and for itself.

Because masturbation makes you a better lover.

Because you can have more sex more often.

Because sexual pleasure is each person’s birthright.

Because masturbation is the ultimate safe sex.

Because masturbation is a joyous expression of self love.

Because masturbation offers numerous health benefits including menstrual cramp relief, stress reduction, endorphin release, stronger pelvic muscles, reduction of prostate gland infection for men and resistance to yeast overgrowths for women.

Because masturbation is an excellent cardiovascular workout.

Because each person is their own best lover.

Because masturbation with a partner can be educational and hot.

Because masturbation increases sexual awareness.

Sugasm: A Devilish DigestSugasm #74

Mon 9th Apr, 07
The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #75? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
History: Marlene on the Wall (thismuse.blogspot.com…)
“3AM, showering, head, his hands soapy on my breasts, I’m thankful I’ve dropped weight, the water is warm and cool enough to feel like bed.�?

Afternoon Debauchery (junohenry.wordpress.com…)
“Occasionally he’d push it further inside me, from where it had involuntarily escaped due to slickness and enthusiastic vibrations.�?

Too Many Choices (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com…)
“We’d been naked most of the time since getting here on Friday, so I wasn’t surprised when I reached under her skirt and found that she wasn’t wearing any panties.�?

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Circumcision? Bullshit. (sugarbank.com…)

Editor’s Choice
Spanking Models Run For Charity, AKA Bums on the Run (adelehaze.com…)

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

Ever feel like your love life is getting stale? It happens to the best of us you know. You get to know each other so well that you start to follow this little dance routine and even thought the music might be a little different, the dance moves are still the same. So, play some games.

When I was living with my good friend, Corri, we used to use a code word for sex. If I said, “Should I come home after work tonite?” she might say, “No, Jay and I are going to play Monopoly. Do you have something to do for awhile?” That was code for, “Jay’s coming over and I’d better be getting laid!”

And really, sex can be a ton of different games if you are a little bit creative. Try some of these:

~ Let him come home and find instructions written on your body with arrows to give directions. My favorite is “Insert tongue here” strategically placed.

~ Play strip poker or strip Uno or strip Ramoli. Winner gets a sex slave for the night.

~ Play naked jacks. Remember the kids jacks game? Start by trying onesies, twosie, threesies, etc. Every time you get one your partner has to take off that many articles of clothing. Don’t stop there though. Next just try to get as many as you can. However many you get, you partner has to do your desired sexual activity for that many minutes. If he gets fivesies he can ask you to perform oral sex on him or dance seductively for five minutes. Have fun with it.

~ Write out 10 sexual favors/activities each on a seperate pieces of paper. Put them all in a bowl. Then roll the dice, choose a paper from the bowl and perform that sexual favor/activity for that many minutes. No intercourse until you’ve gone through all the pieces of paper.

There are so many games you can play and any of your favorite card games can be turned into a night of fun. So, why settle for the tried and true dance when you can play games?

Excuse me, I see my fiance setting up the monopoly board….

Be well all!

They were best friends first. Then they were lovers. And eventually, they were everything in between.

Shamira and Coco lived together in a tiny little apartment in the Bronx that was still more than they could afford. They pulled whatever jobs they could to get by. But their poverty meant nothing to them because at least here they could be who they were and they could love each other freely. Well, more freely than they could in the small town that they grew up in.

When they were kids, they played in the sandbox, letting their dark skin become coated in a thin layer of dust. When they were pre-teens, they chased the boys down the streets with sticks waving above their heads because the boys had been under the jungle gym trying to get a peek at their panties. When they were teenagers they discovered the joys of girl kisses and everything that came after that and they never turned back.

Not even after the pictures came out.

One afternoon, about a week before graduation, they were at Coco’s house talking about how they were going to get out of this hick town and head for the big city. Coco was going to be a model and Shamira was going to be her agent and they were going to strike it rich and show everyone. As it often did, their talk turned into a makeout session that didn’t want to stop. Fortunately, Coco’s mom was working at the diner until late that night. But the sun felt so good on their skin that they didn’t want to close the blinds. No one ever came by Coco’s house anyway.

So they lay there in the sun and removed articles of clothing randomly, as their hands roamed over their bodies. Shamira loved playing with Coco’s nipples. She got off on how much the nipples stuck out when she pinched them. And she loved the taste of them as she rolled the hard points between her tongue and her top teeth. Coco lay beneath her, letting Shamira have her way, as she always did.

Shamira liked that Coco would let her do anything and she took advantage of it. She especially liked that Coco got off on pretty much anything she did. When Shamira got a cucumber from the fridge and slid a condom over it, Coco spread her legs to reveal her soft pink opening and gave herself up to her. And when Shamira slowly slid it inside, gradually giving her more, Coco pushed against it. And when she began to lick her clit, Coco came hard and fast, clenching her muscles against the cucumber so hard that she pushed it right out. Shamira liked to try new things so Coco was rarely surprised, but often challenged.

When Shamira stopped sucking at Coco’s nipples, Coco opened her eyes to see what Shamira had in mind. Shamira was poised above her. She straddled Coco sideways so that one knee was between her legs and the other was off to the side by her belly.

“Raise your hips,” Shamira commanded.

Coco did. Shamira placed a pillow beneath her bottom. The pillow tilted her open lips and brought them higher. Then Shamira began to tease her.

Ever so lightly, she let her own sex rub agains Coco’s. Their juices mingled and Coco took a breath inwards. Shamira had touched her down there plenty of times but never with her own open flesh. Gradually, Shamira brought herself closer and closer until their bodies danced together in the kind of dance that teachers break up at sock hops. Shamira continued her dance, circling her hips like she was in a Calypso parade. As her hands found Coco’s breasts again, Coco began to moan.

Pinching her nipples hard between both fingers, Shamira said, “I want you to come for me Coco. Come for me like you never have before. Come into me and be with me forever.”

Their grinding intensified and Shamira felt small tremors build within her. Coco was like an animal this time, bucking against her mound and raising her higher. Coco’s familiar sounding orgasm echoed through the room, immediately followed by Shamira’s more controlled one.

When Coco opened her eyes, she saw Jimmy and Sheldon at her window with a Polaroid camera.

“Get the fuck out of here you morons!” she screamed.

They never made it to graduation. They coudn’t after the photos were passed around the school, confiscated, and given to their parents. But they never regretted it. And now they were living one dream of being together and following another dream. Surely Coco would be discovered any day now.

Is there anything better in this world than a pair of pretty new panties? Ok, maybe a new leather body suit with a matching collar might be better. But over all, panties are awesome.

I love the fact that when I need to splurge on myself I can buy a cute new thong or a pretty pair of lace cheekies (my personal favorite) without feeling guilty. After all, I need underwear right? And it didn’t cost much. I could have got those stilleto heels or that suede jacket. But it only cost me $5 to cure my shopping craving and I feel sexy as hell to boot.

Panties are a great pick me up because you can’t help feeling at least a little bit sexy when you know you’ve got a flirty new pair of panties on under your business suit. And when you get home, you can tantalize and tease you man a little bit by running around in just your panties while you look for your faveorite after-work lounging outfit. Think your man will have baseball on the brain then???

Panties deserve praise because they can make you feel good or at least better for very little money. Which of course means that you can buy a new pair at least…every week?

So Praise the Panties and be well all!

There are many different ways that people define sexy - curvy, thin, nice boobs, nice ass, long legs, great smile, etc. I think that is where our society goes wrong. They have to define everything. But the thing is most of all of our beliefs are in our mind and if its in our mind we tend to assume that it is in everyone else’s mind as well.

That simply isn’t true. Think about this for a second. What is your definition of a perfect 10? Get an image in your mind or think of someone you know or a celebrity that is your idea of a perfect 10. Now, the next time you are with your friends. See if even one of you can agree on who in the vacinity is a perfect 10. I’ll bet you can’t do it.

When you look at a girl and say, “Damn - now that is a pefect 10!” I can almost that one of your buddies will say, “You’ve got to be joking!” Some of the others will say, “Ya she’s kinda cute, but not a 10.” One or two of them might even agree that she’s pretty hot, “…but maybe an 8 or a 9.” Your view of the perfect 10 is all in your mind.

Once you know that your view is all in your mind you can get over it. You can change your perceptions by knowing that it is only your opinion and that there are other ways to think of it.

This is what I mean by defining sexy. Because we allow ourselves to think that there is a definition we are influenced by it. But that doesn’t make it fact.

Personally, I find bald, hairy, larger-than-average sized men sexier than hell. Not necessarily all at once but the combination can be pretty hot. Most of my girlfriends think I’m nuts. One of my friends is totally hot for the guy she calls the DILF. He’s skinny as a rail and has hair down to his ass. Not my cup of tea.

Sexy is how you think, not how you look. And if you know that someone thinks you’re sexy, you think sexy. If you know that someone is enjoying the sight of your full butt swaying down the street, you feel pretty hot. Presto, you’re sexy. Not just to those who think you’re sexy but others as well.

Know that everyone is born to be sexy - society just knocks the shit out of that knowledge until we’re all a bunch of doubting Thomases.

Think sexy thoughts everyone. Know that you’re sexy and you’ll be it.

Be well all.