The Seven Deadly Sins in Bed: Sloth
I’ve had a handful of sexual partners. Let’s just say…enough to make some people blush (although, friends, you’re the one reading a sex blog, so I’m not sure I’ll make you blush at all). I’ve been with men that were packing so much it hurt and men that made me wonder if they were even in at all. I’ve seen cockrings and piercings and shaved balls and bulging veins.
And I have to say that the vast majority of these men knew what’s up (and I do mean up). They worked with what they had and *most* or the time, we both left the bedroom at least mildly pleased. Sure, there’s been the occasional mishap, like the virgin who didn’t know which hole to finger (poor guy was so confused) and the drunk who passed out in the middle of everything, sploging cum everywhere at the last second (and for that, I left him sleep in the pool of his own bodily fluids while I snuck out the door). But really, what can you do but laugh and move on.
Except when it comes to the deadly sin that gets me most upset–sloth.
I was with this guy once who was just lazy. Over the course of about five months, we had sex about..oh..maybe 3 or 4 times a week on average. I think I got off once. He went down on me twice (and I gave him countless blowjobs). And every night was the same thing–he laid back and enjoyed the view while I rode him.
Now I enjoy a good girl-on-top romp as much as the next person. But it’s not my favorite position by a long shot and it gets old. Doing the same thing over and over and over again is downright boring…not to mention tiring. Why should I have to do all the work?
So men, get off your lazy ass. Wine, dine, and 69 your girl, then take her. She wants you to. We know you’ve had a long day and that the best thing in the world to you right now would be for you to come home, find you naked and handing you a cold beer, and then sitting down on your favorite recliner and watching Sports Center while we blow you. And hey, it’s ok to get that once in awhile. Come on, though. If you’re not ready to work a little to please your girl in bed, why are you with her?
September 8th, 2007 at 8:06 am
Girl I hear you. There is nothing worse than a lazy lover. Why else doe you think girl-on-girl action is soooo much hotter than guy-on-guy? Think about it. We don’t mess around. Well, besides..